Who experiences your moods swings?

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
Homer Simpson

Are you impulsive?
Do your moods swings swing way faster than most people can predict?
Do people keep asking you if you're feeling ok?
Do people have a hard time being sure about what you think?
Right, you are the unpredictable moody i'm talking about. Do you realize how difficult it is to keep up with your moods? Do you understand the position of someone who is trying to be comfortable around you? Just relax will you? Control your moods for a while. It isn't all the difficult. Try? And yeah, just let people know what you're thinking. At least those who are eager to know. Please.

Struggling for ourselves

Creativity, as natural as it may seem at first, is a science. People can be born with talent, but expertise is developed over time. Writers and painters who are sometimes percieved as being gifted with certain talents have to still develop that talent into expertise before they begin to harness any benefits from it.

If someone decides at 20 decides today that he wants to be a full time writer, he is looking at first the development of the language skills and the effectiveness of his narration. He is looking at a life where he has to look for stories and make them. He has to devote time and attention to improve which is a slow process. And he may not be able to make another profession because of this one. That is not easy.

A contemporary artist in today's world of technology and tools has to not only know the methods of the past but should also understand and be adept at the possibilities of the tools of today. The choices that he has to make are not made in one night that he wants to be a painter. But the contemplation of a long time that he can't be nothing else.

We are who we are and even the obstructions in the path that is our's are our own. We love them like we love the path like we love our destiny. Admitting our love for the things we love and believing in it is a major foundation of individuality. I am.

Subconscious Settings

Conscious, sub-conscious, super-conscious, etc. seem to be rather complicated terms as such. But it is really quite simple if we try to understand these terms. Knowing what we are doing, how, why, etc is our consciousness. Reacting naturally, and not realizing our concepts about our actions is sub-conscious behavior. Knowing not just our own but about many things beyond ourselves and realizing their interconnection and interactions is super-consciousness.

We dont always realize how a certain incident has effected our way of handling things: why and when we stop trusting or start believing. We think we are like what we have always been. But the truth is that we are as constantly changing as change can be. Every new incident, interaction, conversation and emotion, brings with it a new change in our perception of the world around us. Only when we look closely enough do we realize how people who we thought used us gave something invaluable in return which they didn't know or didn't even intend to. Value is not only what can be categorized. We like it or not. We know it or not, we change. All the time.

Happy Music!!

Happy is what happy believes. Sometimes little is more and more is less and all just depends on us in the end. Music is therapy. Some notes can give you goosebumps. Some songs can get back picturesque memories back to you. Can make you happy. Sad. Overjoyed. Its a great feeling, submitting to music.
If you love music as much as that, you should keep a list of your happy music. And listen to it. Every once in a while. To remind you what makes you happy. Because every once in a while, people need reminders. That keeps us going, in the right direction. And also, be happy.

All about the money!

When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

Voltaire

We've all joked about it, cribed about it. And how true is that. Nobody would be anybody without money. Its all about the money. People kill for money. People befriend for money. Its everywhere. Its almost all there is. Almost, because for some people, life is still about happiness more than it is about money.

What does money mean to you?

Wake up call for people who really dont know they need it.

What the hell do some people think they're doing with their lives? really? and are they even thinking?? I understand that your environment can make you lose your touch with the larger picture but man!! Maybe make you less passionate and less driven. But so much? How can you not look at what you've become? Over time. And stop looking for the right things in life. And talking to the right people. And looking for the right opportunities. That is all anybody ever does. And you can't stop doing it! And please, get a grip!

What dreams!

Some dreams haunt, some taunt, some smile and some simply surprise. We all have dreams: good and bad dreams, dreams we can't forget, dreams we can't ignore and also dreams we wish came true. There're different theories about dreams. Some say dreams are just our brains' wasted energy while we sleep. Some say they actually mean our state of mind, and represent our thoughts, dreams, desires and fears. But then what about those dreams about people we dont think about? Someone we didn't even know back in school? Or somebody we'd passed on our way to work? Or someone we saw somewhere we dont even remember. Happens, you know! But why?

There's a book called The Interpretation Of Dreams by Sigmund Freud. Its one of those bestselling books most people can't read. It gave me nightmares since the day i started to read it. So I never got to the second page. Of course!

So I'll just guess. Maybe seeing surprising faces in dreams signifies our desires to know these people, desires we might have felt at the time when i saw those faces...

what do you think?

Untouched

Some times we surprise ourselves big time. Does happen you know. Generally if someone taunts you, you might take it up as a challenge and try to beat that. But sometimes you're more intelligent and you feel how funny it is that they wanted to taunt you. You say, "really? Thanks you cared so much!" Others' opinions or critique is just not worth the attention we sometimes end up paying to it. It might hurt. But if we are still focussed on what we want, we are pretty much unhurt. Or the thing might not be such a prestige issue to you in the first place. When we realize how unhurt we are by things that might have affected us, we realize our strength for standing up for ourselves. Thats a lovely feeling.

This particular quality is also described in the book called The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand, "It just hurts to a certain point. And then, there's no pain."

Painting by Deepa Goyal - "Nears but does not touch"

Familiarity v/s Rarity

We tend to see the ones closer to us in a dimmer light than we see the ones that are not accessible to us. A husband may be more handsome and caring than an actor is projected on screen and yet women are attracted to that man. Because they dont have him.

Familiarity breeds contempt, while rarity wins admiration.

When we come to know someone very closely, we begin to know a lot of good things and a lot of bad things about them. Sometimes people have a rough time. In those times we see more of the flaws. But we shouldn't let these flaws get to us. This is still the same person. Just the times are a little tough. Happens to all of us. But many a times, we fall in the trap of contempt. We begin to look down upon people we used to like but are not in such an admirable shape at the moment. But people grow out of adversity. Sometimes people seem to be lost while they are just taking time to make a decision choosing the right path to take. Love is irrespective how bad times. Share bad times, help each other. Don't just let attraction decide. Accept change in others as you change too.

Don't fool in love, please!!

Just why do people become so crazy in the name of love that they dont mind being taken advantage of? Some people carry on relationships because of the money, or status, emotional dependence, or merely habbit. Habbit too. Really. Some people keep dragging a relationship because they dont know what they'll do without it. But is it really that way? Should it really be that way? Weigh your relationships on how it is contributing to your life. Make decisions, dont just cling. And don't drag. Be strong. Be complete - with and without. Have an independent identity.

Richard Branson said:

"When something stops being fun, its time to move on."

Don't drag a relationship, please! Work at it. Make it work. Thats of course if you really can't let it go.

People who love, fight.

Only the ones who love you will tell you what to do and what not to do and be irritated at your mistakes and hate you for making them. Others don't interfere, only because they don't care. Friends fight. Couples fight. Siblings fight. Only because they care enough to. That is real care. So when someone close to you is irritated, pay attention. If they're so worked up about it, they probably have a point. Same goes for you. If you're feeling so strongly about something in your loved ones' life, and you comment and they resist, don't just give up. Give space alright, but make your point. Thats what we're for.

Those who fall...

Some people feel defeated. Sometimes everybody does. Some people take too much time to get over it. Some people never do. While some people get going quick. They move on. They take up the next challenge.

We are always told to not to stay down after falling down, but how difficult is it to practice? If you're defeated and someone tells you go to hell, you probably do. But even to those, there are few who will take criticism seriously even under stress or sorrow. That is real strength. Sometimes everybody breaks. But listen. Listen when you can't think for youself. Listen, when you dont have enough to say.

Ungoverned and unsafe, together we cry

Young men who dont know who they're working for and who don't realize what they are doing are firing hundred of rounds of gunfire and killing hundreds of people. Really, who is responsible and who is to blame and even if we find someone to blame, what difference does that make? If there is just this much security and just so much insanity, then who would feel safe in such a country? Anybody working with you, or your friend could turn out to be a terrorist no matter if you've known them for months or years...and its all the same thing. These men were trained. These men were young. They took lives. They were lives. And for what?

While there are dead bodies lying around and people looking for some reassurance. If the government is just busy changing ministers and now there's going to be someone new to take the charge. The old one is irresponsible and the new one is not responsible. Then who is going to assure if we're really not going to be shot at again?

Are you all GIVE or just TAKE?

Here is a fantastic piece from The Sunday Times that i suggest you read:
A healthy give and take attitude is the basis for a steady relationship. It’s when you realise you are getting nothing in return that a partnership is in jeopardy. Every relationship charts out its own gives and takes. That’s what relationships are all about — from a tie as pure as a mother and child to one forged for business alone, give and take is an innate part of every relationship. You cannot hope to just keep taking and expect the tie to last. Even the most philanthropic amongst us wouldn’t want to spend a lifetime giving; at some point there is bound to be the concern, “What did I get out of this?” After all, even charity is doled out in the hope of raking in some returns for ourselves, be they material, physical or spiritual. Give and take isn’t necessarily a bad word. Nor is it limited to business deals. However it is certainly something that can either be elevated to a lofty status or be relegated to something demeaning and lowly, depending on people involved and intentions. Quite often we wonder what makes certain relationships tick. As an outsider you may not be able to fathom how two seemingly mismatched people are pulling along in a relationship, but rest assured, there is almost always a reason. There is equal compensation both ways. Sometimes a very strong person who has everything going for him may hook up with an ordinary partner and the world may keep wondering what he gets from her. Difficult to say, but rest assured there will always be some vulnerability in the strong person that is complemented through the partner’s personality. And, the other person accrues the obvious benefits. So the give and take works both ways. And till it keeps working, the balance keeps the relationship steady and going. It is when one partner starts feeling that he or she has nothing more to gain from the other that the relationship is in jeopardy. Once you start feeling that there are only debits in a partnership, instinctively you try and get out of the situation. It may all sound very greedy and selfcentred, but it isn’t really so. Because the give and take is not really a monetary transaction; more a compensation for what the other person needs or misses in his or her life — physical, spiritual or emotional, And yes, even if one person gives just materially, it could make for a workable relationship so long as there is mutual respect. A partner who draws spiritual solace from someone, may be giving material comforts in return. That’s fine, so long as both benefit and the relationship is symbiotic. The point is caring enough to give the other what he or she needs.Some people are very selfish and stingy when it comes to giving anything of themselves to a partner. In their shortsightedness, they attack the very foundation of a relationship. A relationship with such a person would be self-destructive. However, if not being a giver is a problem, being just a giver without ever taking anything from anyone also disturbs the balance of nature. A story in psychotherapist Brian Weiss’s book, Through Time into Healing, comes to mind. A daughter, distraught at her mother's being rendered totally inactive after a paralytic attack, questions God why he has struck helpless a woman who did nothing but give throughout her life. The answer she receives is that by giving her mother two years of dependence on the daughter, God has saved her a lifetime of begging and accepting in another birth. Because it is critical for the mother to understand it’s as important to receive as it is to give. “It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding; And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving And is there aught you would withhold? All you have shall someday be given … See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.” — Kahlil Gibran

Who else to blame?

How easy it is to accept everything blaming it on destiny. We blame ourselves, someone else or situations, but how often is it that we really blame it on that one person who we so fear. God. Isn't he the reason why its all right or all wrong. Really he's the only unfair guy around anywhere. And what the hell is destiny, anyway? Mere excuse to make the pain easier to tolerate?

Sometimes, we can think like this too...

You might just meet again...

Be nice to people on your way up, coz you'll meet them on your way down.

How true is that! There was once a man who was intelligent and hard working and sincere. He wanted to be an IAS officer. He was going for the exam and he met with an accident and his hand was injured. The second time, he met with an accident. The third year, he fell on the stairs and was badly injured. He went to IIT - Roorkee then. But met through a severe case of ragging and dropped it. Finally, he completed his BE from a government college in his home town.

Now what would you call that? Series of unfortunate events of course. But what most people overlook is that fact that its not that his will-power is low but just that his luck is bad.

It isn't sensible to look down on people, everybody has their own story to tell. Thats called individuality. There isn't just 2 categories, who do and who dont. There are plenty. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you're content. But then maybe you're not improving too...

Swallowing Frogs...

There's just so much to do. This and this and that and that and what not. So how do we go about anything too many. Simple. Always start with the most difficult problem at hand. When you have too many frogs to swallow, swallow the biggest one first.

Respecting spaces

While we too sulk at times for reasons of our own. And we too wish for secrecy of what we want to remain undisclosed. We should respect others' preferences for privacy and keep that in mind regarding any relationship. Consider this : Some things are better undisclosed. Private. Personal Matters.
Just lets keep our privacy and let others keep theirs'. There's already enough to worry about in our own lives.

Funtioning of insults

Right. Insult is an insult. And no, it can't be forgiven. Any kind of an insult is just some or the other form of "what the hell do you know?". And what do you think, what kind of people ask that question? Either the pseudo arrogant people or the really superior ones. Now the people who do know more, usually don't insult you. They scold you. So the arrogant ones do. If they aren't really better, and they're arrogant, that means that they are just resisting you for some of your own quality. So its just resistance.
Too complicated.
Well, we don't always have to respond to insults by insults. Its no use deteriorating ourselves. But that doesn't mean we have to stand it. We can act. Words are really worthless. People who disrespect don't really understand respect, not even their own. So you can't hurt them by insulting them.
Sometimes, an answer is not necessary at all. As Krishna says, don't get angry at the people who are provoking you to get angry. It works well. Somebody tries to hurt you, don't be hurt. People want attention, don't pay any. That is the way to deal with this kind of unnecessary non-sense. Indifference.

This way for happiness

Deep in our hearts we always know what is right and what is wrong. But what we do about it is a different matter altogether. We know we should do something and we don't. We say something. We do something else. We choose the action and resist the outcome. While there is only one single formula for happiness and we all know it:
Happiness is when your words and actions are in agreement.

Release that stress...

Is stress all we have in our lives right now? Stress about work, love, children. Some people actually work better when they're stressed. But stressed only to a certain point. After which, stress overpowered efficiency and people begin to break.
But why are we so stressed? Is it really so bad? The worry. The restlessness.
Actually it isn't so bad. We're worried when we care. Just lets not let our desire to win take away the power to. Relax. Just remember:
When you have too many frogs to swallow, swallow the biggest one first.

Ever suffered the diease called Confusion?

What is the cure for confusion? Is there any? When we just dont know. When we just can't decide. When we are just not sure...

Our decisions are always based on some judgement some risk taking. Do we really behave in exact ways as we think we might. Never really happens. We're equally unpredictable as we think others are. And our decisions should keep that in mind as well.

What we want today we might not want it later. We think that a certain project would change our lives. And it may not prove to be so powerful. We expect that missing on something will cause us to lag in life, and it might not. What we think we might not be able to do without may not really matter so much in the end.

Same goes for relationships, today we're waiting for somebody and we may just wait too long. We hope that that person would love us someday like we love them. We hope that someday that somebody would realize how much we love him. Maybe we should just keep on going and wait for things to come along instead of waiting in one place and waiting for things to come our way. We have just one life. We have just this much time. How long can we wait for that happy shine?

Right time is when you get it right

In this time where we're planning for the future all the time. Our future. Our kid's future. Future after us (insurance). Maybe we should start early on our new year resolutions as well. You know... making advanced resolutions. More like preface to our actual new year resolutions. Outlines to what we want to achieve in the new year, but not exactly. For the month of november and december we'll try to become that person who can achieve the things we want to achieve in the coming year. After all, its never too late, so its never too early either. And really, now is always a great time to start. :)

Memories and things that remind us of them

There are certain things that remind us of certain other things that may or may not be directly related. Some painting painted by some painter is some other time with some other thought in mind may remind us of some altogether different idea or place or person or event in our own life. Such are memories. Our life that comes to us through things that may not belong to it as much. We all miss people. We all miss times. Those people, those times may never come back. But new ones would. New people. New times. Clinging to the past is never a good idea. Welcoming a change always is. But thinking of past never hurt anybody....

After all, what is life is we keep moving and never look back to realize how far we've come.

Beliefs and illusions

Some philosophies ask us to believe that what we want is what we already have. That idea may be interpreted in two ways. Believe we already have it. Which may imply that you stop working towards it, because you believe you already have it. That only leads to illusions.
Or believe we will definitely have it. Which only removes your fear and uncertainty. Interpretations may vary, the idea remains the same. Chase what shall make you happy.
What works for us may not work for someone else. The world is the same for everybody. We just interpret it differently...

(Image : Coversations with God Book 1 - Neale Donald Walsch)

Before we die

While we're alive we generally don't think about death more than as a final moment to bid goodbye to this world. But what would we do if we knew we were dying in a certain time. Who are the people we wish we had spent more time with? People we want to see before we die. Words we want to say before its too long. Love we want to express. Hate we want to end. Regret we want to dispel.
But if we know the things we are dying to do. Why do we miss them while we still have time for it?
Maybe we should. Maybe now is right time to filter our lives. Keep the best of it. Reach out for those loved ones. Forgive those who upset us. Now. So we can take that forward and not just end there.

This too is what we are.

Sometimes we behave in ways we never thought possible. We manage to be polite to somebody we really hate. We are rude to somebody we respect. We fight with people we love. We do things we didn't think we could or things we wish we hadn't. But is all us. Single entity. One.
Do we hate ourselves for the wrong we do? Is regret a solution to anything? We need to accept our mistakes, as a part of our person. My mistake. My fault. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. And if you really do regret, it wouldn't happen again.
But sometimes we repeat mistakes. And we never forgive ourselves for it. Forgiveness is not something that comes from outside. We are forgiven, when we forgive. Others. Ourselves.

Like Salman Rushdie said in his novel The Moor's Last Sigh:
"When a mistake of the heart is revealed as folly, we think of ourselves as fools, and ask our near-and-dear why they failed to save us from ourslves. But that is an enemy against whom no-one can defend us."

"I'm loneliest, when I'm happiest"

What is it that tells us when we end and others begin? Consciousness? Well, it is pretty freaky to think about it. Sometimes we want to be one with others, or some person. We want friends who know us inside out. Someone who knows exactly what we're feeling. People who love us like ourselves. That feeling of wholeness and belonging. And we do achieve it ever so often. But it keeps leaving us...
Why does it have to get lonely when we're so happy?
Maybe its better to reject that desire and not delve into its possibilities. Sometimes we just have to accept the things as they are. Because even if we do live forever, in which case we'll have to see dear ones die. Not so attractive. Life's good. Now. It is.

Meditation - Just a state of mind

Do we need to sit a certain way or achieve some unknown silence in order to meditate? Think something in particular? Or nothing at all? What is meditation exactly?
Meditation is the state of mind when the mind is at absolute peace. When the mind is at peace, it is not involved in love, regret, obsession and the like. Is only is. When you try to attain something, your mind starts to wander about somewhere else. When you do not try to attain anything, you have your own body and mind right here. That state, is meditation.
A Zen master would say, "Kill the Buddha!" Kill the Buddha if the Buddha exists somewhere else. Kill the Buddha, because you should resume your own Buddha nature."

Thinking of The Fountainhead

Ayn Rand wrote a book called The Fountainhead. Its so appealing and so readily applicable. Some people hate it, some hate it. But everybody who knows of it, reacts to it. Its very important for any product to be worth discussing. Worth hating. Worth loving. The Fountainhead is one of those.
Perfection is an idea which means different things to different people and keeping it as individualistic it is, Fountainhead presents a view of perfection that is very interesting. The person who loves himself. We all do. That is why we don't want ourselves to die, right? We love ourselves. We protect ourselves from others. We choose ourselves over others. Its only human. And that is all Ayn Rand is really talking about. First and last love - self love.
Some people think that the philosophy of Ayn Rand (Objectivism) is too selfish and thus, unreasonable. But being selfish only about being happy. Not in the sense of hating/hurting others. In fact in many cases she has portrayed that the alternative to hate, ignorance. Ignore what you can hate, its so much better, focus on the good. Is that mutually exclusive form of self love really bad?
"I care about myself. I'll do anything to be happy. Though I wouldn't kill for it. Coz I'm just not crazy."
Sounds perfectly normal to me. And actually, doesn't seem like anything too profound. Its really natural instinct.
Talking of the book, most people find it difficult to read in one go. But anybody who is through with the first 100 or 150 pages, would finish it. Somebody who drops it before those 100-150 pages, is really making a big mistake.
Do read it. And you don't have to be Howard Roark. That's exactly what Ms. Rand is asking you not to do. Be yourself. Enjoy.

Its called destiny, maybe

Sometimes we try and try and fail and then suddenly we stop trying and we get it right. Patience? Nay. We run, the goal starts running too (away from us). We can only chase anything in such a way that it doesn't know its caught, till after it has been. Play it smart.
Chase. Its fun.

Sharing joys of everyday life.

If you love someone, you want them to be there more and more and more. Doesn't make sense, but you want it so. You want to tell them about everything. You want them to tell you everything. And you want to giggle together. And you want to do that all the time with everything.
That is a nice test actually. If you don't think of that certain somebody when they are not around (thinking anything or nothing in particular but about them) then there's something missing. You need to work harder. Work at it together. Or work at something else together. Togetherness brings people together. You may love someone who's very different from you. But sometimes, we just want our loved ones to share the excitement that the too-different people don't relate to. The joys of everyday life. Like couples can cook together. Or evening walks. Paint. Music lessons. The simple things are really most pleasant. And they work. In human relationships, they work.

Keeping the faith

We all have done it. Thinking we're so smart we can fool god. And it just never happens? We really can't fool him, or ourselves.

Well sometimes we can. That is because god is really on our side. But yaa...he doesn't have a voice. He can hint us. By what we can only call instinct or inner voice, maybe. But its there. The thing that lets us know right from wrong. And we just know.
We know if we're in a position to pass a test, before we take the test. Mostly, we just know. Only in sometimes it happens that we're so wrong about judging our preparation level.
We know if we can trust somebody or if we can't.
We know if somebody is going to be there when we need them or if they aren't.

But still we take chances. Hoping for surprises. Hoping for luck. That is our trust in god. That is faith. Faith in god. Faith in our luck. Faith in ourselves.

Omens give up too.

Omens guide you to your destiny. Maybe. But if you keep ignoring them, after some time, they'll stop trying to hint you.

There is nothing called try try till you succeed. Sooner or later, it is the right time to give up. Some things can't happen. Or they just can't happen when you want them to. Its the same thing. Justice delayed is justice denied, right?
Sometimes even if you give your life to save someone, he'll still feel maybe it was your duty or he deserved it or no-big-deal. Its not cruel. Its perspective. Perspective for one and failure for another(to have his affection understood). Still no good and bad. Just perspective.
Happens. Move on. Find the thing that will respond. Where you can succeed. When you want to.
Thats life.

Making own decisions

How good is it to depend on others for making decisions? Suggestions is one thing. Advice is another. And plain dependence is altogether different. There are always pros and cons to everything. Is it ok to let others make our decisions for us? Does it really matter who makes the decisions as long as they're right (if they are)?

Any body who makes his own decisions in life would tell you of the confidence that it gives you. To take the responsibility for your actions. Its important. If you don't feel responsible for anything you do. You won't feel responsible for the bad you do and will skip from guilt of it. Also, you won't feel responsible for the good you do and miss the exaltation of it. No negative. No positive. Blank. Stagnation. Waste. Half way through. Half a life.

Of Estha's Silence (God Of Small Things - Arundhati Roy)

Estha had always been a quiet child, so no one could pinpoint with any degree of accuracy exactly when (the year, if not the month or day) he had stopped talking. Stopped talking altogether, that is. The fact is that there wasn't an 'exactly when'. It had been a gradual winding down and closing shop. A barely noticeable quietening. As though he had simply run out of conversation and had nothing left to say. Yet Estha's silence was never awkward. Never intrusive. Never noisy. It wasn't an accusing, protesting silence as much as a sort of aestivation, a dormancy, the psychological equivalant of what lungfish do to get themselves through the dry season, except that in Estha's case the dry season looked as thought it would last for ever.

Over time he had acquired the ability to blend into the background of wherever he was - into bookshelves, gardens, curtains, doorsways, streets - to appear inanimate, almost invisible to the untrained eye. It usually took strangers a while to notice him even when they were in the same room with him. It took them even longer to notice that he never spoke. Some never noticed him at all.

Estha occupied very little space in the world.

Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms. It rocked him to the rythm of an ancient, foetal heartbeat. It sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue. It stripped his thoughts of the words that described them and left them pared and naked. Unspeakable. Numb. And to an observer therefore, perhaps barely there. Slowly, over the years, Estha withdrew from the world. He grew accustomed to the uneasy octopus that lived inside him and squirted its inky tranquilizer on his past. Gradually the reason for his silence was hidden away, entombed somewhere deep in the soothing folds of the fact of it.

(God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, Winner of the 1997 Booker Prize)

Some people plain hate us.

"Hatred" is a very strong emotion. We can only hate what has seriously let us down. Only those things can let us down from which we expected big time. We expect big time from people/things we think are capable of big time. That's definitely not a negative thing. We can't feel strongly about something we don't care about.
We can hate somebody for not being good. That's because we think they are capable of it.
Competition makes us stronger by keeping us alert. On-the-go all-the-time. That, in a way, is a very good thing. So we don't necessarily hate a competitor.
But some people do hate us. Out to destroy whatever is pleasure to us. They're plain jealous. They think we'll have it so they're ignoring their chance to success in life and diverting all their efforts and time into our failure.
There are always people who hate us. For whatever reasons. Mostly its jealously. Sometimes its intimidation. But not a third thing.
Of course there are other similar things people can feel for others - loathing? and disgust maybe...but they are different from hatred.

Work for work's sake

Gita says not to think of the result and just work for work's sake. Its difficult to achieve that state of mind. But what if we do achieve it. And then due to some other reason are unable to achieve what we wished. Just a single wish in life. And we aren't granted it. Or maybe we're feeling lost before we have actually? And the real reward is really hidden...and on its way, bigger than we asked for?

Only things that last are real.

Do people really love us? Does anybody really understand what love is? Does anybody have any concrete concept or definition of it? How do we know if it is real?
An opinion we can't stand by is not worth being called an opinion at all. If we love someone we cant hate them. We just stop believing we love them.

What is the right answer?

How much money do you want to have in 5 years?
a. $100,000 to $249,999.
b. $250,000 to $499,999.
c. $500,000 to $4,999,999.
d. $5 million or more.


Right answer:
If you chose the lowest amount, why did you do that? You have a choice of getting any amount from $100,000 to $5 million in the next five years. It is completely up to you. Nobody is telling you what to choose. So why would anyone choose $100,000?
Yet in lfie that is exactly what many people do. They settle for $100,000 when they could just as easily have $5 million. Choosing less money shows a lack of ambition and a lack of confidence. Do not start out by settling. Always shoot for the top. Every great athelete and every great billionaire goes for the gold, not for the bronze.
May you'd just rather scratch out $5 million and write in $50 billion!
That is that attitude you must have to make it big.

Detachement, is it really worth it?

While detachment is so glorified in Bhagwad Gita and also other books, and after all the effort it takes to be really detached, is it really worth it? Is it really a good feeling to feel nothing about some things?
We don't hate somebody. And we don't like them. And yet we interact and we never care about them. Is that good? Or is that hollow? The nothingness of it.
Maybe detachment specifically applied can be a good thing. We can be detached about the outcome and work hard and just look forward to whatever we get. We can not-care about what critics say. We can love and not mind if we're not loved back. But at the end of it, is it really okay to not to be loved back? How long can we tolerate that? Without a reward to inspire, will we still be interested in working for something?
Passion is an important aspect in our actions. But how can passion be irrespective of demands or desires? If we don't want something, we can't be passionate about it. If we're passionate how can we be detached to it?
We want it, we are attached. Directly.

Its ok to be scared.

Who wants criminals or potential criminals in their lives? Anybody? Well, of course not!
Its ok to be scared sometimes. To just take the less heroic path and avoid stuff. Bad stuff. People do bad things to each other. And there are things we don't want to be happening to us. So whenever those things come up, we just avoid the path that leads us there. Is that right? Is that wrong?
If the issue is small, maybe its better to face it. But crime? And really, we don't know what some people can be capable of doing.
Physical well being is important. An athlete may lose his entire life if someone breaks his legs only out of rage. Some accidents can lead to a mental state where we can lose our confidence.
Sometimes its just better to listen to what we're being told. Sometimes its just better to think of safety all the time. Look who you're with. Be aware of who is staring at you. Take care about other people obsessions, it may sometimes affect you. We just never know.

Of death and dying

Its not a depressing thought, as such. Dying. We do live to die one day. But at the same time we don't want to die. We want to cling to the people and things we love. Even though the people we so love, will die too.

At Peace - A Poem

Birds would not cease to fly
Clouds would not stop to rain
Even won't last the so-called pain
Calm your mind and let the fear drain
Its the mighty rulers' reign
Do not worry and do not cry
Happiness will come your way
You won't even have to try
Just sing the songs of peace
Compose yourself and feel at ease
Live up to what God may please
Stand tall and make a promise
To him and to me,
"Let there be peace in this world
And let it begin with me."

By Deepa Goyal

Is or Isn't God?

If god was to rule existence,
One would not live to die one day.
If god was a torch,
Darkness won't ever blind our way.
If god was the protector,
One would never feel insecure.
If god was to preach peace,
Wars would not be known at all.
If god was to be the ruler,
Crime would also abide by law.
If god could make miracles come by,
World peace would be not dream but true.

But if god was to exist at all
A baby would not die at birth.
If god was to exist at all
To a prayer, he would reply.
If god was to exist at all
People would not die of hunger.
If god was to exist at all
Life would mean more than politics and war.
Crime would vanish from here and from far.
Love would unite and love would rule
And love will help for peach to prevail.

But what if god doesn't exist at all?
But what if god is but a thought after all?
A thought of unknown existence
A thought of faith's presence.
A thought of a well-wishers' subsistence.
A thought of love's prevalence.
A thought of a friend so loving
A though of someone so caring.
A thought to guide us through good times and bad
A thought to unite us in happy times and sad.
A thought for all good thoughts to replace the bad ones.
A thought to regain the lost peace in this sad world.
A thought to think on better lines.
The lines to lead us to joyous, merry times.

A thought, neither matter nor magic.
A thought, ruled by no logic.
A thought, a wish, a dream
A wish of wish fulfilled.
To see the good within the bad
And gladness in the sad.
To see the end to be a beginning.
To see not destruction, but mending.
To see the beauty in all so ugly.
To trust the future and enjoy the present
To see the strength among the weak
A wish to achieve all you seek
To make us follow a path so righteous
A wish for ony good to rule and guide us.

Who is god but the one unknown?
However we know him, he is but more.
If we try to measure, the scale would end long before.
He is the land, the see and he is also shore.
He is less and he is more.
But such a thing-unseen, unknown
Is it not or is it so?
Is it just a prank and nothing more?
The question is not new but ages old.
The answer is but a mystery with all we know.
But if thought could ask the question
Thought only would reply
Someday, someone would succeed somehow
Hope is all to take us now
But someday we will know for sure
Someday, somewhere, somehow...

By Deepa Goyal

Forgiving isn't a mistake all the time

If we never give anybody a second chance, the whole idea of forgiving becomes obsolete. Just why do we find it so difficult to forgive people? We aren't able to do everything right. We aren't perfect. Yet we expect others to be.
Today the other person is on the receiving end. Tomorrow we may make a mistake and ask for forgiveness. And we all know that. Then why can't we just tell the other person that he hurt, but you're taking it for the love of him/her.
Sometimes its just not so bad an idea to forgive, seriously, sometimes people do improve. And if its too hard for you to believe that people improve, you need more hope in your life.

True love makes you want to give...

Love is the desire for more. You love a person, you want more and more of that person. You love a book, you want to read it more and more. You love food, you want to eat more and more. That is how love works.
Some people want more and more and more of attention and affection and everything else. But love really makes you want to do for the loved ones. Give attention, not just seek it. When a boy falls in love with a girl, he feels like getting her some flowers, and sometimes a ring too.
Love is simple and yet complex. And no words may adequately express its true meaning...

Avoiding suffering takes more effort than suffering itself.

Feeling is the language of the soul. That is how our differentiation between good and bad functions. We just know. We just feel something isn't right or if we know what we're doing is right, we just know it.
Yet, some people try to avoid the feeling or regret or hurt. How that can be done, is quite a mystery. Everybody makes mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
We need to go through a certain feeling to know what it is really like and grow with that experience. If we don't permit ourselves to feel too great or too bad, it will contribute to the self-esteem in the wrong way. Each suffering and each pain comes from something about life. They teach us about what we could have done, what we are capable of doing and what we could not have done. With each experience we grow, so that the next time, we're better equipped.
But if we avoid feeling bad about something we do, we'll never try to correct it and hence we'll never improve.
Its easier to feel bad and decide to improve than to stop from feeling bad. Because then we're conscious of what not to feel bad about, giving ourselves constant explanation and excuse not to feel bad.
But learn we must. To help, to love and to grow. If we give up on people because of only a few bad people, the good people will never get a chance to be judged. You can't avoid feeling bad, but we must accept it quick and learn from it and move over it fast. Don't forget to feel all feelings, but keep moving on.

You can't lose what you haven't got.

What is worrying but the fear of failure. We worry about "what ifs" of the situations that we lose the alertness of "lets see". Maybe that's the reason that the people who have seen failure in life are better risk takers. Because they aren't so worried about reputations in case they should fail. They are just not afraid. So their energies are better used up on future prospects rather than its uncertainty. We do really have limited energy and time, after all.

But concentration is again not something that comes naturally to people. Its a skill that needs to be developed over time and takes practice. That's why so many people have a problem of being distracted easily. It's difficult to concentrate. It is easier to be distracted. And so the people who do achieve better alert systems in their life are more successful. Because they are better able to judge what is important and what is not. So they don't get stuck up on irrelevant details.

Fear, just blurs visions. When you don't know what you want and don't want, you end up making mixed decisions. So just let it out, take the chance, keep rejecting what you don't want, naturally being attracted to what you do want. And really, you can't lose what you haven't got, so why worry?

Great men talk about ideas. Second-handers talk about people.

That precisely, is the deadliness of second-handers. They have no concern for facts, ideas, work. They're concerned only with people. They don't ask: 'Is this true?' They ask: 'Is this what others think is true?' Not to judge, but to repeat. Not to do, but to give the impression of doing. Not creation, but show. Not ability, but friendship. Not merit, but pull.
And isn't that the root of every despicable action? Not selfishness, but precisely the absence of a self. The man who cheats and lies, but preserves a respectable front. He knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he is honest and he derives his self-respect from that, second-hand. Greatness - in other people's eyes. Fame, admiration, envy - all that whice comes from others. Not wanting to be great, but wanting to be thought as great. That is actual selflessness. Its their ego they have betrayed and given up. And such people are called selfish.
Its what I couldn't understand about people for a long time. They have no self. They live second-hand.

Everything happens for good.

Sometimes we resist the things that happen to us. Mostly, actually. The right lessons in life are passed on to us from the right people and right circumstances at the right time. Even failure in it own way contributes to our success. The resistance is only due to inertia. People fail to realize that whatever happens happens for good. There's always a right time for everything. We really are on our way to our destiny, all the time.

Like Paulo Coehlo said, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

Desires, ours and others'.

Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes we do to other people what we wish had not happened to us. But its just what we do. Sometimes we know what we should do, and we don't do it and then regret it. And yet, we all have a central theme that defines our spirit. Irrespective of the contradictions...
Some people are mean by nature. Some people are kind by nature. Some people just want power, so in love too, they just want power over the other...we have to accept that we can't change people. Everybody has a right to want whatever that makes them happy. Its only when we understand and respect other people's choices and desires can we understand and fulfill ours. Because that is when we truly understand the different between their choices and our own and accept the responsibility of our choices, absolutely. No matter what happens...what we don't desire, will not make us happy.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Reading a lot of books gives you a different thought process. Each book gives you the authors thought process. So when you read many, all the many add up to form yours. Same is the case with music. Music is all about feeling the emotion presented in the form of flow of sounds. All add up to give a certain feeling. Similar are movies too.
People who are ignoring these simple pleasures lack personality. Mostly because they have closed to themselves the most obvious and simplest leisure and learning activities. What kind of a person would do that?
Reading is one thing, writing a book is another. Everybody shouldn't write books. Everybody must read enough books. Reading a good book is like having a conversations with a person with a great mind. And who doesn't want some great ideas?

Two ways to live a life

Happiness is mostly irrespective of pains or sorrows. Its about accepting whatever is happening to you. About being ok with the circumstances and events. Anybody with too many regrets can't achieve the peace of mind to truly feel happy. When we are focussed, so our state of mind is also not disturbed easily.
Sometimes pain temporarily blinds our way. All we really need to do is focus on what we really want and see the bigger picture. And there are all the answers.
At the end of it, no matter how we sugar coat it. The truth of the matter is, there are only two ways to live a life. When you're happy and one when you're not happy. If you're doing a lot of things and still feel miserable, my dear, you are unhappy. You need to try something new. Make it right.
Of course this is something I'm not telling you. I am telling this to myself. It may or may not help you.