Bad friends are like Bad Investments

Some people never pay up what they borrow or return favors or even greetings. What are these people to you if they don't ever give anything in return. They make you wait, they let you down and make you feel disrespected.

Consider them as bad investments. Recovered if possible. If not, best forgotten.

Relating emotions

We relate different emotions to different situations. So we expect pleasantries on meeting and memories on parting. But what about the new and unexpected situations?

Some situations are simply not romantic, but begin to be, simply because of the person we are sharing it with. That is something special. To some feeling thrilled on holding a special someone hand might seem old fashioned. But our bodies still react in a way, that even today, when we do want someone that much, we get thrilled at the slightest opportunities.

Feelings in their purest form are the ones that last the longest and mean the most. Try looking out for those, because all others are just twisted representations leading to even twisted emotions. It glorious to feel pure delight, pure sorrow or pure fun. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Simply Understood...

We just know which movie will not be our type to enjoy. We just know what to say to some people and it would never change anything between. Some people just understand us. There may be no words to explain. There may be no descriptions at all. But we're simply, understood. That's worth something.

Good Vibrations

Nice people have nice vibrations. Optimistic people bring optimism even without saying anything. Sad people make you gloomy just by their presence.
Everybody gets sad some or the other time. It is those who struggle at the right time to get out of it who get out in time, others end up wasting time. Realizing that we're sad is one thing, doing something to cheer ourselves up is another. Nobody can cheer us as well as ourselves. The lesser time we spend on bad feelings, more we have for the good ones. Anybody who thinks like that, will automatically bring that feeling to you. Thats why spending time with friends when they are "supposedly" cheering you up, helps.
You want to be happy, get around happy people. And whoever agrees on wasting time on sadness, don't you even dare come near me.

Losing The People We Don't Like

There are some people in our live's who aren't there for any particular purpose. They talk to us. A lot. They just take up our time and attention with little to give in return. It may seem mean at first. Or even be difficult, at times. But once we lose this kind of people, we will realize a clearer picture. A better view. Being undisturbed. Thinking of more pleasant thoughts, for longer.
Well, some people are just not worth keeping.

If we welcome, we will get.

The fundamental reason why we don't get many new people into our live's all the time is because we are defensive and don't let many people in. We get unfriendly and unwelcoming to strangers. Its a great idea to meet new people specially if we are trying to change our lives in some way. New people bring new ideas into our lives.

Everybody has only so many hours to life. So many hours to work, think, play. Everybody has their own ideas about life. Its when we share that we get new perceptions about life. And opening up is particularly helpful when we are trying to make difficult decisions in life.

YES MAN is a nice movie about the idea of opening up our lives to new possiblities. The movie stresses the depression and lack of enjoyment in life when we are NO MEN and refuse possiblities their chance to change our lives. There are always people like ourselves to share, grow and accompany. All we have to do is reach out and connect. New experiences bring new people and newer joys in life.

Open up.

Find your tribe.

Let some go out.

Let some in.

We may not be all one, but we are sure in it together.

Ideas - Events - People

The lines on our palm say a lot about our person and life. Handwritings speak a lot about our personalities. Sleeping postures too are said to express significant details of our states of mind. Similar is the case with the things we talk about.

We can broadly talk about only ideas, events or people. It is an old saying that:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

I think is makes sense. But the good news is that, by changing what we talk about, we can change the kind of person we are. Same as karma can change the lines of our palms.

Start thinking, and think before you talk.

Emotional Needs

Most people blindly expect the other person to guess what they want to be told or given. That's because few people even themselves know what is wrong with them or what is their need of the moment. It's great to have someone who can understand without even being told. Those are sure treasures. But mostly, we just have to state clearly what we want from the other person which we call communication. It can be easier or more difficult for the people who do know what they want. Sometimes it is just difficult for express the need. But what if you take your time to understand what you what. You put it as clearly as possible so that the other person understands it completely. And then the most important part of the puzzle goes missing - you're refused? What then?

After all that, I'll just have to...

Most people don't promise anything to you.
Some people make promises and break them.

Some people make promises and keep them.

Some, very few, make promises and deliver much more!

And if someone loves you. If that person is the one who is always by your side through ups and downs. If that person worries about you. If that person makes you get the better of yourself. If that person helps you be successful. Then chases you down to become as successfull himself. And asks you to marry him. Is there a possibility that you will still have to reject that person?

Some people actually do that, you know.

Duck is a duck!

I believe that true happiness is when your words and your actions are in perfect agreement. But for most people it isn't so. People tend to fail their words. Their actions don't agree with their words or promises. It is a kind of deception even if we are all so used to it by now that we dont notice it. It still is, a deception.

Don't promise what you can't deliver. Mostly because delivering what you promise is such pleasure. Don't way what you dont mean. Or you'll always be misunderstood.

Knowingly or unknowingly, people notice. People notice the kind of person someone is. And everybody is constantly judged. And nobody cares to point out or help change or improvement. People judge you for what you act like and make their own set of choices. You do it too. Its just the rule of the game.

If it acts like a duck (all the time), it's a duck. Doesn't matter if the
duck thinks it's a dog, it's still a duck as far as the rest of us are
concerned.

It Takes a Leader

Every child is troubled by the bullies. Everybody hates a bad boss. Everybody understands the faults of a bad dictator. But it takes courage of a leader to harness that feeling into a movement and make it into a revolution. There are always enough people who feel like you do. All you need to do it seek them out and make the crowd work for you. The people who feel like you do. People who want to make the changes you want to make. It takes a leader to lead.

Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. At the same time, its the followers that make the leader a leader. Not just ones who are willing to follow, but those who are eager to follow.

If you want to start something, be ready to take the responsiblity of being the leader.

People who care, pay attention!

In the end, people who don't care about you, won't notice it if you die. The people who will notice, are the ones who care. And they would be caring about everything you do. They'll pay attention when you're feeling sick. They notice when you are not realizing that you're not able to do it. They read between the lines. They will notice that you're lying. They will notice that you're sad. They just notice. People are not jewels which others' eyes feel pleasant to look and for us are just to carry around. But the ones who care, are really jewels, only of a different kind.

Not so much attention!

We pay so much attention to some such unimportant people in our lives, its such a waste. Some people just need a reason to criticize you, or belittle you, sometimes not ever a reason. And yet we make such effors to please or ignore such defaulters. We try to argue, convince, sometimes avoid. While really, anything we do is already being done. Most of the things are being done all the time. So what is such a big deal that these few people need to pick on us, criticizing, irritating and just coming through as arrogant rats while many a times they themselves aren't so great anyway. It is just our attention that is making them feel as important at they are feeling in the first place.

All these people do is waste our time and attention. Discussing things that don't need any discussion. Inviting explainations on obvious actions. And really with no real returns.

Listen to what Samuel Goldwyn said:

Pay no attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them.

Looking for people who understand us, we overlook the ones who do that best

We look for people who can understand us. We all do. You too must have wished for someone who could understand what you are going through. Or what really makes you happy. Or someone who knows exactly how you feel right now. Haven't you?
We often confuse companionship with love. And so we just keep looking for it in the ones we love. But every relationship has its own place. A friend is a friend. A lover is a lover. A mother is a mother. We need all of them. Even those relationships that have no name...but this post is not for them.

An elder sibling is a parent who is your own day and age. He/She understand what you need to know, What you want to know, And also, what you know and wouldn't admit. Somebody we love to miss for fighting with. Someone who always thinks we're in love with the wrong person. Somebody we like to tease, tickle and please. Someone who has seen you through the best and the worst and has been there, literally, by default.

I have some very fond memories of my brother as I'm sure many of you do (brothers or sisters). This post is dedicated to them. I miss my brother. And so I write this. Not because today is sibling day or something...

Treat them well and keep them.

Right. So you just want all roses till you decide to throw them all away. Everybody wants all nice. Who doesn't like to be loved? But there's some responsibility to that. How can you treat someone badly, specially someone who loves you quite honestly. If you try it on yourself, you would want to be treated nicely by someone you love. Even when they don't love you back. Its a human need. Need for acknowledgement. Attention. Affection.

And think of it this way. If you are insulting/hurting someone because they are too emotional about you, are you trying to prove to them how wrong they are in loving you? Really? Aren't you worth it? Don't you agree when they say you're wonderful? You may not feel the same way about them. But you can agree. You can handle the admiration. You can thank.

Check your self-esteem. You dont have to love everybody who loves you. But you should keep them people. These are the people who noticed you. The good things about you. There are plenty of people who would hate you, who will criticize you, be jealous of you, despise you. Who would you rather keep? The ones who hate you or the ones who love/like/admire you?

Poem Dedications...one of the most delightfull gifts!

We see a lot of times we lose the people we love most. Only because we're too busy being arrogant or just too busy with ourselves. We fail to be there for the ones we love, in their times of need. Distracted with all the fake emotions the people show us, we forget the ones who really be there when we need. Someone wrote this for me once...maybe you'll connect with it.
(This is the first time I'm sharing something personal with you guys. I hope you enjoy it, you're my readers, and I would like to share this with you guys.)

So Incomplete Without You

By Shreye Mehtani

(Dedicated to Deepa Goyal)

Its about the time
When I started facing the world,
So fake, so insecure, so dark.
For the ones who are lost, like me
Punched, stabbed & kicked away
Don't know what to find. where to stay.
It was then, when I found you, staring,
I dont know what at, me
or the mud people threw on my face.
You wiped away the tears, the mud,
The webs that entangled my mind.
To recollect whatever was left far behind.
When I could upright & fight.
I couldnt see beyond the domain of revenge
And I never realized, your hand was slipping
And now when you are gone. I regret.
And realize, what stands true.
The fact, that I'm so incomplete without YOU.

Memories and things that remind us of them

There are certain things that remind us of certain other things that may or may not be directly related. Some painting painted by some painter is some other time with some other thought in mind may remind us of some altogether different idea or place or person or event in our own life. Such are memories. Our life that comes to us through things that may not belong to it as much. We all miss people. We all miss times. Those people, those times may never come back. But new ones would. New people. New times. Clinging to the past is never a good idea. Welcoming a change always is. But thinking of past never hurt anybody....

After all, what is life is we keep moving and never look back to realize how far we've come.

Some people plain hate us.

"Hatred" is a very strong emotion. We can only hate what has seriously let us down. Only those things can let us down from which we expected big time. We expect big time from people/things we think are capable of big time. That's definitely not a negative thing. We can't feel strongly about something we don't care about.
We can hate somebody for not being good. That's because we think they are capable of it.
Competition makes us stronger by keeping us alert. On-the-go all-the-time. That, in a way, is a very good thing. So we don't necessarily hate a competitor.
But some people do hate us. Out to destroy whatever is pleasure to us. They're plain jealous. They think we'll have it so they're ignoring their chance to success in life and diverting all their efforts and time into our failure.
There are always people who hate us. For whatever reasons. Mostly its jealously. Sometimes its intimidation. But not a third thing.
Of course there are other similar things people can feel for others - loathing? and disgust maybe...but they are different from hatred.

Great men talk about ideas. Second-handers talk about people.

That precisely, is the deadliness of second-handers. They have no concern for facts, ideas, work. They're concerned only with people. They don't ask: 'Is this true?' They ask: 'Is this what others think is true?' Not to judge, but to repeat. Not to do, but to give the impression of doing. Not creation, but show. Not ability, but friendship. Not merit, but pull.
And isn't that the root of every despicable action? Not selfishness, but precisely the absence of a self. The man who cheats and lies, but preserves a respectable front. He knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he is honest and he derives his self-respect from that, second-hand. Greatness - in other people's eyes. Fame, admiration, envy - all that whice comes from others. Not wanting to be great, but wanting to be thought as great. That is actual selflessness. Its their ego they have betrayed and given up. And such people are called selfish.
Its what I couldn't understand about people for a long time. They have no self. They live second-hand.