Looking for people who understand us, we overlook the ones who do that best

We look for people who can understand us. We all do. You too must have wished for someone who could understand what you are going through. Or what really makes you happy. Or someone who knows exactly how you feel right now. Haven't you?
We often confuse companionship with love. And so we just keep looking for it in the ones we love. But every relationship has its own place. A friend is a friend. A lover is a lover. A mother is a mother. We need all of them. Even those relationships that have no name...but this post is not for them.

An elder sibling is a parent who is your own day and age. He/She understand what you need to know, What you want to know, And also, what you know and wouldn't admit. Somebody we love to miss for fighting with. Someone who always thinks we're in love with the wrong person. Somebody we like to tease, tickle and please. Someone who has seen you through the best and the worst and has been there, literally, by default.

I have some very fond memories of my brother as I'm sure many of you do (brothers or sisters). This post is dedicated to them. I miss my brother. And so I write this. Not because today is sibling day or something...

Great men talk about ideas. Second-handers talk about people.

That precisely, is the deadliness of second-handers. They have no concern for facts, ideas, work. They're concerned only with people. They don't ask: 'Is this true?' They ask: 'Is this what others think is true?' Not to judge, but to repeat. Not to do, but to give the impression of doing. Not creation, but show. Not ability, but friendship. Not merit, but pull.
And isn't that the root of every despicable action? Not selfishness, but precisely the absence of a self. The man who cheats and lies, but preserves a respectable front. He knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he is honest and he derives his self-respect from that, second-hand. Greatness - in other people's eyes. Fame, admiration, envy - all that whice comes from others. Not wanting to be great, but wanting to be thought as great. That is actual selflessness. Its their ego they have betrayed and given up. And such people are called selfish.
Its what I couldn't understand about people for a long time. They have no self. They live second-hand.