Are you all GIVE or just TAKE?

Here is a fantastic piece from The Sunday Times that i suggest you read:
A healthy give and take attitude is the basis for a steady relationship. It’s when you realise you are getting nothing in return that a partnership is in jeopardy. Every relationship charts out its own gives and takes. That’s what relationships are all about — from a tie as pure as a mother and child to one forged for business alone, give and take is an innate part of every relationship. You cannot hope to just keep taking and expect the tie to last. Even the most philanthropic amongst us wouldn’t want to spend a lifetime giving; at some point there is bound to be the concern, “What did I get out of this?” After all, even charity is doled out in the hope of raking in some returns for ourselves, be they material, physical or spiritual. Give and take isn’t necessarily a bad word. Nor is it limited to business deals. However it is certainly something that can either be elevated to a lofty status or be relegated to something demeaning and lowly, depending on people involved and intentions. Quite often we wonder what makes certain relationships tick. As an outsider you may not be able to fathom how two seemingly mismatched people are pulling along in a relationship, but rest assured, there is almost always a reason. There is equal compensation both ways. Sometimes a very strong person who has everything going for him may hook up with an ordinary partner and the world may keep wondering what he gets from her. Difficult to say, but rest assured there will always be some vulnerability in the strong person that is complemented through the partner’s personality. And, the other person accrues the obvious benefits. So the give and take works both ways. And till it keeps working, the balance keeps the relationship steady and going. It is when one partner starts feeling that he or she has nothing more to gain from the other that the relationship is in jeopardy. Once you start feeling that there are only debits in a partnership, instinctively you try and get out of the situation. It may all sound very greedy and selfcentred, but it isn’t really so. Because the give and take is not really a monetary transaction; more a compensation for what the other person needs or misses in his or her life — physical, spiritual or emotional, And yes, even if one person gives just materially, it could make for a workable relationship so long as there is mutual respect. A partner who draws spiritual solace from someone, may be giving material comforts in return. That’s fine, so long as both benefit and the relationship is symbiotic. The point is caring enough to give the other what he or she needs.Some people are very selfish and stingy when it comes to giving anything of themselves to a partner. In their shortsightedness, they attack the very foundation of a relationship. A relationship with such a person would be self-destructive. However, if not being a giver is a problem, being just a giver without ever taking anything from anyone also disturbs the balance of nature. A story in psychotherapist Brian Weiss’s book, Through Time into Healing, comes to mind. A daughter, distraught at her mother's being rendered totally inactive after a paralytic attack, questions God why he has struck helpless a woman who did nothing but give throughout her life. The answer she receives is that by giving her mother two years of dependence on the daughter, God has saved her a lifetime of begging and accepting in another birth. Because it is critical for the mother to understand it’s as important to receive as it is to give. “It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding; And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving And is there aught you would withhold? All you have shall someday be given … See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.” — Kahlil Gibran

Who else to blame?

How easy it is to accept everything blaming it on destiny. We blame ourselves, someone else or situations, but how often is it that we really blame it on that one person who we so fear. God. Isn't he the reason why its all right or all wrong. Really he's the only unfair guy around anywhere. And what the hell is destiny, anyway? Mere excuse to make the pain easier to tolerate?

Sometimes, we can think like this too...

Keeping the faith

We all have done it. Thinking we're so smart we can fool god. And it just never happens? We really can't fool him, or ourselves.

Well sometimes we can. That is because god is really on our side. But yaa...he doesn't have a voice. He can hint us. By what we can only call instinct or inner voice, maybe. But its there. The thing that lets us know right from wrong. And we just know.
We know if we're in a position to pass a test, before we take the test. Mostly, we just know. Only in sometimes it happens that we're so wrong about judging our preparation level.
We know if we can trust somebody or if we can't.
We know if somebody is going to be there when we need them or if they aren't.

But still we take chances. Hoping for surprises. Hoping for luck. That is our trust in god. That is faith. Faith in god. Faith in our luck. Faith in ourselves.

Is or Isn't God?

If god was to rule existence,
One would not live to die one day.
If god was a torch,
Darkness won't ever blind our way.
If god was the protector,
One would never feel insecure.
If god was to preach peace,
Wars would not be known at all.
If god was to be the ruler,
Crime would also abide by law.
If god could make miracles come by,
World peace would be not dream but true.

But if god was to exist at all
A baby would not die at birth.
If god was to exist at all
To a prayer, he would reply.
If god was to exist at all
People would not die of hunger.
If god was to exist at all
Life would mean more than politics and war.
Crime would vanish from here and from far.
Love would unite and love would rule
And love will help for peach to prevail.

But what if god doesn't exist at all?
But what if god is but a thought after all?
A thought of unknown existence
A thought of faith's presence.
A thought of a well-wishers' subsistence.
A thought of love's prevalence.
A thought of a friend so loving
A though of someone so caring.
A thought to guide us through good times and bad
A thought to unite us in happy times and sad.
A thought for all good thoughts to replace the bad ones.
A thought to regain the lost peace in this sad world.
A thought to think on better lines.
The lines to lead us to joyous, merry times.

A thought, neither matter nor magic.
A thought, ruled by no logic.
A thought, a wish, a dream
A wish of wish fulfilled.
To see the good within the bad
And gladness in the sad.
To see the end to be a beginning.
To see not destruction, but mending.
To see the beauty in all so ugly.
To trust the future and enjoy the present
To see the strength among the weak
A wish to achieve all you seek
To make us follow a path so righteous
A wish for ony good to rule and guide us.

Who is god but the one unknown?
However we know him, he is but more.
If we try to measure, the scale would end long before.
He is the land, the see and he is also shore.
He is less and he is more.
But such a thing-unseen, unknown
Is it not or is it so?
Is it just a prank and nothing more?
The question is not new but ages old.
The answer is but a mystery with all we know.
But if thought could ask the question
Thought only would reply
Someday, someone would succeed somehow
Hope is all to take us now
But someday we will know for sure
Someday, somewhere, somehow...

By Deepa Goyal