Ideas - Events - People

The lines on our palm say a lot about our person and life. Handwritings speak a lot about our personalities. Sleeping postures too are said to express significant details of our states of mind. Similar is the case with the things we talk about.

We can broadly talk about only ideas, events or people. It is an old saying that:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

I think is makes sense. But the good news is that, by changing what we talk about, we can change the kind of person we are. Same as karma can change the lines of our palms.

Start thinking, and think before you talk.

Emotional Needs

Most people blindly expect the other person to guess what they want to be told or given. That's because few people even themselves know what is wrong with them or what is their need of the moment. It's great to have someone who can understand without even being told. Those are sure treasures. But mostly, we just have to state clearly what we want from the other person which we call communication. It can be easier or more difficult for the people who do know what they want. Sometimes it is just difficult for express the need. But what if you take your time to understand what you what. You put it as clearly as possible so that the other person understands it completely. And then the most important part of the puzzle goes missing - you're refused? What then?

Not so much attention!

We pay so much attention to some such unimportant people in our lives, its such a waste. Some people just need a reason to criticize you, or belittle you, sometimes not ever a reason. And yet we make such effors to please or ignore such defaulters. We try to argue, convince, sometimes avoid. While really, anything we do is already being done. Most of the things are being done all the time. So what is such a big deal that these few people need to pick on us, criticizing, irritating and just coming through as arrogant rats while many a times they themselves aren't so great anyway. It is just our attention that is making them feel as important at they are feeling in the first place.

All these people do is waste our time and attention. Discussing things that don't need any discussion. Inviting explainations on obvious actions. And really with no real returns.

Listen to what Samuel Goldwyn said:

Pay no attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them.

Optimistic? Really?

Would you like to be with somebody who makes your bad times worse? Somebody who will make fun of you right when you can't take it? Or try to overlook the fact that anything is wrong at all?

I believe the answer is - No. At least that is the sane way.

When people behave that way, they just make it easier for us to decide. They make the confusion go away. No. If today, someone is depressing us further when we need to be cheered up, they don't deserve us. And what will they do when if times get worse? In future they migh, we never know! Its just a fact about that person that we need to face. Because people rarely change what their natural attitude is like. We should take people as they come, like we take times as it comes. There is not other right way to take it.

Or we may feel optimistic and hope that we can change this person. Only because we so wish they do. But optimism is a disease that honestly has no cure. We believe. We hope. We wish.

Really, isn't optimism just a disease after all??

Treat them well and keep them.

Right. So you just want all roses till you decide to throw them all away. Everybody wants all nice. Who doesn't like to be loved? But there's some responsibility to that. How can you treat someone badly, specially someone who loves you quite honestly. If you try it on yourself, you would want to be treated nicely by someone you love. Even when they don't love you back. Its a human need. Need for acknowledgement. Attention. Affection.

And think of it this way. If you are insulting/hurting someone because they are too emotional about you, are you trying to prove to them how wrong they are in loving you? Really? Aren't you worth it? Don't you agree when they say you're wonderful? You may not feel the same way about them. But you can agree. You can handle the admiration. You can thank.

Check your self-esteem. You dont have to love everybody who loves you. But you should keep them people. These are the people who noticed you. The good things about you. There are plenty of people who would hate you, who will criticize you, be jealous of you, despise you. Who would you rather keep? The ones who hate you or the ones who love/like/admire you?

Making perfect. Making happy.

People move out of relationships or look out of relationships only when they require something they aren't getting. In very few cases is the person you're in a relationship with is a loser you can't make things work with. You chose that person because you believed you could make things work with this person. So deal with it instead of running from it. Make it work.

It may feel very unpleasant when your partner steps out but then why don't you just communicate what he needs so badly? Talk. Communicate.

It happens all the time. Sometimes people want more admiration. Sometimes they want more space. Sometimes they are just lost and need you to help them find a way. Sometimes all they need is a hug. If your partner needs something, provide it. Find out what they need. Be interested. Thats what makes you partners.

If things seem less than perfect, make them perfect. Its not all that difficult. Do something beautiful for your partner. Make them feel special. Give them a reason to stay and you'll find that they would never want to leave.

Subconscious Settings

Conscious, sub-conscious, super-conscious, etc. seem to be rather complicated terms as such. But it is really quite simple if we try to understand these terms. Knowing what we are doing, how, why, etc is our consciousness. Reacting naturally, and not realizing our concepts about our actions is sub-conscious behavior. Knowing not just our own but about many things beyond ourselves and realizing their interconnection and interactions is super-consciousness.

We dont always realize how a certain incident has effected our way of handling things: why and when we stop trusting or start believing. We think we are like what we have always been. But the truth is that we are as constantly changing as change can be. Every new incident, interaction, conversation and emotion, brings with it a new change in our perception of the world around us. Only when we look closely enough do we realize how people who we thought used us gave something invaluable in return which they didn't know or didn't even intend to. Value is not only what can be categorized. We like it or not. We know it or not, we change. All the time.

Omens give up too.

Omens guide you to your destiny. Maybe. But if you keep ignoring them, after some time, they'll stop trying to hint you.

There is nothing called try try till you succeed. Sooner or later, it is the right time to give up. Some things can't happen. Or they just can't happen when you want them to. Its the same thing. Justice delayed is justice denied, right?
Sometimes even if you give your life to save someone, he'll still feel maybe it was your duty or he deserved it or no-big-deal. Its not cruel. Its perspective. Perspective for one and failure for another(to have his affection understood). Still no good and bad. Just perspective.
Happens. Move on. Find the thing that will respond. Where you can succeed. When you want to.
Thats life.