Going back to what we wish for

Considering that bigger picture, many things would lose the importance they are now getting. Sometimes its equally important to look closely. We may now be yearning for a moment from the past that if granted, we won't be so happy to go back to.
A struggle that was exhilerating. A misplaced moment of joy. Missing a love we left by choice and who was at one time, very dear.
If we see what we have come through, we wouldn't ourselves want to go back.

Losing The People We Don't Like

There are some people in our live's who aren't there for any particular purpose. They talk to us. A lot. They just take up our time and attention with little to give in return. It may seem mean at first. Or even be difficult, at times. But once we lose this kind of people, we will realize a clearer picture. A better view. Being undisturbed. Thinking of more pleasant thoughts, for longer.
Well, some people are just not worth keeping.

RUN RUN RUN!

Take your music player...run.

Every little while...

RUN!

from all that is troubling you.

from all that doesn't matter.

from all that doens't make sense.

from all that is stopping you.

Only upto a certain point

We try to do something. With less luck. We try again. Until one day, we just suddenly successful. That's how it is with developing new skills. We struggle with it for a while, then one fine day, its a part of who we are.

I was struggling to move out of a relationship for a while. Struggling to move out, emotionally. I would end up stuck in it as soon as I heard some sweet words coming my way from that direction. And then I would regret falling for lies, depressed and disheartened. I didn't realize when, but the effect of lies and betrayal withered away by itself. I became neutral. I didn't care anymore. Neither happy, nor sad, at best, relieved, maybe.

And as we overcome obstacles and mistakes, we become the person who could have overcome and not be broken. And then, regret too, fades away, and there is nothing we wish to do or undo about it.

At the end, we are human. We get hurt. We get let down. We get sad. But only to a certain point. After which, we really don't care. And when it comes to the end, you have to let go.

On that some day

And someone shall accept us. As we come on the day destined.

Instant Forgetting - Switch Period

Gloom and bloom are all phases that we all go through now and then. There are some things that can make the gloom disappear almost instantly. A change of pace. A change of place. After a bad experience or a major disappointment, everybody takes their own time to bounce back. This is the Switch Period. The time one takes between being disappointed and being revitalized. We need that optimism most specially after a disappointment, but the time one takes to get there varies.

Some people believe that happiness and sorrow don't deserve any more than 24 hours of glory. But it's a hard idea to practice. So we use some help to make through that period.

Step away from the things that are troubling you. A change of pace or a change of place, are the major helpers. Sooner you step out of the past, the sooner you step into the future. The faster you move, the smoother the ride.

Ideas - Events - People

The lines on our palm say a lot about our person and life. Handwritings speak a lot about our personalities. Sleeping postures too are said to express significant details of our states of mind. Similar is the case with the things we talk about.

We can broadly talk about only ideas, events or people. It is an old saying that:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

I think is makes sense. But the good news is that, by changing what we talk about, we can change the kind of person we are. Same as karma can change the lines of our palms.

Start thinking, and think before you talk.

Emotional Needs

Most people blindly expect the other person to guess what they want to be told or given. That's because few people even themselves know what is wrong with them or what is their need of the moment. It's great to have someone who can understand without even being told. Those are sure treasures. But mostly, we just have to state clearly what we want from the other person which we call communication. It can be easier or more difficult for the people who do know what they want. Sometimes it is just difficult for express the need. But what if you take your time to understand what you what. You put it as clearly as possible so that the other person understands it completely. And then the most important part of the puzzle goes missing - you're refused? What then?

Fun Test

There may never be a wrong time to join something, there's always a right time to quit. There is this simple test to know when something is not working out and its time to quit. There are even books written about it. But there's really just one single test.

When something stops being fun, its time to let go.

It applies to all situations, jobs, projects, relationships, even children. When children have developed their own personalities, and you lose influence over it. Its time to let go of the resentment and accept it as a part of their personality.

Optimistic? Really?

Would you like to be with somebody who makes your bad times worse? Somebody who will make fun of you right when you can't take it? Or try to overlook the fact that anything is wrong at all?

I believe the answer is - No. At least that is the sane way.

When people behave that way, they just make it easier for us to decide. They make the confusion go away. No. If today, someone is depressing us further when we need to be cheered up, they don't deserve us. And what will they do when if times get worse? In future they migh, we never know! Its just a fact about that person that we need to face. Because people rarely change what their natural attitude is like. We should take people as they come, like we take times as it comes. There is not other right way to take it.

Or we may feel optimistic and hope that we can change this person. Only because we so wish they do. But optimism is a disease that honestly has no cure. We believe. We hope. We wish.

Really, isn't optimism just a disease after all??

Time can change everything...literally

Time is probably the most flexible thing that was ever created. Created, however that was. Whoever did it. But its quite fabulous. Time can heal. Time can change. Time can change attitudes. Time can change perspective. Time can change everything.And also, Times can change.

We fail to realize how little things can change the bigger picture. And sometimes we get too engrossed in the little details that we forget if they do or not affect the bigger picture. And how. The ability to see the bigger picture alone, can change a lot in our lives. Considering the bigger picture, a lot of things, dont matter at all. And a lot of things, never mattered in the first place. Some things are just better done superficially. Half-done. Un-done. But we have to keep moving. With time. And that is all we need to do.

We need to grow with time. Change. Its about being. Its about becoming, over time. If you want to get somewhere. Be the person who gets there. Use the change. Channel the change that time brings. Make it work for yourself.

Like the dialogue from Vanilla Sky goes

"Every minute is another chance to turn is all around"

Multiple relationships

There are so many beautiful people in this world.

How can someone fall in love just once?

But will you marry every person you love?

Is one better than the other?

Just how did you compare?

It feels great to be in love. Its fantastic. The feeling of wanting someone so bad. We love somebody and it may not work out. We can try and wish and try and try and it may still not work out. And there's no worse feeling than being in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Love isn't about one-way traffic. Love isn't beautiful till two people make it beautiful.

But you fall in love and it doesn't work out. Do you hate that person? Unless they shoot you, no, you dont hate them. They are the one you wanted so much to be yours'. You still love them. Only want them a little less. Controllably well.

If you love someone. Its the biggest compliment you can give them. If you hate them because you found someone with who things are finally there, thats the smallest you can think. There are so many beautiful people in this world. But just so many that you fall in love with. Keep them in that special circle. "Desirable". Maybe some day when you're old and grey, you'll have the most beautiful time of your life thinking about what didn't work out in the past. It can happen. And in the meantime, life is still beautiful.

Building momentum, then keeping it.

Everybody wants to do well in life. Many people work very hard. Some people dont realize how hard they are working. We start working. Then get into the mode. Keep working. Keep going. Then things seem settled. We begin to slow down. We start to take success for granted. At such a point, its easy to lose the momentum we built over the time, with so much pain. And so it gets easier to get run-down. So what do we do about it? To keep that precious momentum. To keep that fire alive. To keep fighting. To keep on going. Just how do we do it?
I'll tell you what, its difficult. No, its VERY difficult. To RE-build momentum. To get there where you've been before. Mostly it is because we move forward by nature. To be staying in another moment and going back and bringing something from it. The idea itself brings for us - future shock. Which is nothing but the inability to move with time. Forward or backward.
Happens. To everybody. Sooner or later. Some people find it very hard to deal with. To get back to what they've left behind. To repeat. To redo.
But we just have to do it. Like everybody else has to in that situation. Because there is really no other way out. Literally!

Subconscious Settings

Conscious, sub-conscious, super-conscious, etc. seem to be rather complicated terms as such. But it is really quite simple if we try to understand these terms. Knowing what we are doing, how, why, etc is our consciousness. Reacting naturally, and not realizing our concepts about our actions is sub-conscious behavior. Knowing not just our own but about many things beyond ourselves and realizing their interconnection and interactions is super-consciousness.

We dont always realize how a certain incident has effected our way of handling things: why and when we stop trusting or start believing. We think we are like what we have always been. But the truth is that we are as constantly changing as change can be. Every new incident, interaction, conversation and emotion, brings with it a new change in our perception of the world around us. Only when we look closely enough do we realize how people who we thought used us gave something invaluable in return which they didn't know or didn't even intend to. Value is not only what can be categorized. We like it or not. We know it or not, we change. All the time.

Don't fool in love, please!!

Just why do people become so crazy in the name of love that they dont mind being taken advantage of? Some people carry on relationships because of the money, or status, emotional dependence, or merely habbit. Habbit too. Really. Some people keep dragging a relationship because they dont know what they'll do without it. But is it really that way? Should it really be that way? Weigh your relationships on how it is contributing to your life. Make decisions, dont just cling. And don't drag. Be strong. Be complete - with and without. Have an independent identity.

Richard Branson said:

"When something stops being fun, its time to move on."

Don't drag a relationship, please! Work at it. Make it work. Thats of course if you really can't let it go.

Those who fall...

Some people feel defeated. Sometimes everybody does. Some people take too much time to get over it. Some people never do. While some people get going quick. They move on. They take up the next challenge.

We are always told to not to stay down after falling down, but how difficult is it to practice? If you're defeated and someone tells you go to hell, you probably do. But even to those, there are few who will take criticism seriously even under stress or sorrow. That is real strength. Sometimes everybody breaks. But listen. Listen when you can't think for youself. Listen, when you dont have enough to say.

Omens give up too.

Omens guide you to your destiny. Maybe. But if you keep ignoring them, after some time, they'll stop trying to hint you.

There is nothing called try try till you succeed. Sooner or later, it is the right time to give up. Some things can't happen. Or they just can't happen when you want them to. Its the same thing. Justice delayed is justice denied, right?
Sometimes even if you give your life to save someone, he'll still feel maybe it was your duty or he deserved it or no-big-deal. Its not cruel. Its perspective. Perspective for one and failure for another(to have his affection understood). Still no good and bad. Just perspective.
Happens. Move on. Find the thing that will respond. Where you can succeed. When you want to.
Thats life.

Avoiding suffering takes more effort than suffering itself.

Feeling is the language of the soul. That is how our differentiation between good and bad functions. We just know. We just feel something isn't right or if we know what we're doing is right, we just know it.
Yet, some people try to avoid the feeling or regret or hurt. How that can be done, is quite a mystery. Everybody makes mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
We need to go through a certain feeling to know what it is really like and grow with that experience. If we don't permit ourselves to feel too great or too bad, it will contribute to the self-esteem in the wrong way. Each suffering and each pain comes from something about life. They teach us about what we could have done, what we are capable of doing and what we could not have done. With each experience we grow, so that the next time, we're better equipped.
But if we avoid feeling bad about something we do, we'll never try to correct it and hence we'll never improve.
Its easier to feel bad and decide to improve than to stop from feeling bad. Because then we're conscious of what not to feel bad about, giving ourselves constant explanation and excuse not to feel bad.
But learn we must. To help, to love and to grow. If we give up on people because of only a few bad people, the good people will never get a chance to be judged. You can't avoid feeling bad, but we must accept it quick and learn from it and move over it fast. Don't forget to feel all feelings, but keep moving on.