What remains.

I look.

I check.

I find.

I search.

I find.

I find myself find

That someone's left behind.

To tell, I must, I myself remind.

Share the gist and joy

In the friendship bind.

In the end its hardly there.

What we sow or what we bear.

We think is but

Who is near who dear.

Love is not free

Is permitting someone to hurt us, always such a bad idea? Hoping that things would be understood your way some day and life would change its course, wrong?

Some times we give people more space than they deserve hoping they would realize it's importance in due time. But that only gives the person more reason to value that space less than ever, he got it without effort.

Unearned affection is like inherited money. Many get it, select few ever double it. But it's the ones who double who leave for someone else to inherit.

Respecting other's space and keeping our own

A person who can't understand other people's privacy will never repect their space. Invasion of privacy can be very hurting.

Never give anybody rights to any more space in life than they deserve. Anybody might leave anytime. And no matter who leaves, you are the one who stays back.

Only upto a certain point

We try to do something. With less luck. We try again. Until one day, we just suddenly successful. That's how it is with developing new skills. We struggle with it for a while, then one fine day, its a part of who we are.

I was struggling to move out of a relationship for a while. Struggling to move out, emotionally. I would end up stuck in it as soon as I heard some sweet words coming my way from that direction. And then I would regret falling for lies, depressed and disheartened. I didn't realize when, but the effect of lies and betrayal withered away by itself. I became neutral. I didn't care anymore. Neither happy, nor sad, at best, relieved, maybe.

And as we overcome obstacles and mistakes, we become the person who could have overcome and not be broken. And then, regret too, fades away, and there is nothing we wish to do or undo about it.

At the end, we are human. We get hurt. We get let down. We get sad. But only to a certain point. After which, we really don't care. And when it comes to the end, you have to let go.

Perfect Forever

We wait for the perfect circumstances forever. But is there anything called perfect circumstances? Do they ever arrive? Perfect circumstances might never arrive.

Do you intend to wait forever then?

Perfect is right here right now. Right time is right here right now.

Do it, right here, right now.

Instant Forgetting - Switch Period

Gloom and bloom are all phases that we all go through now and then. There are some things that can make the gloom disappear almost instantly. A change of pace. A change of place. After a bad experience or a major disappointment, everybody takes their own time to bounce back. This is the Switch Period. The time one takes between being disappointed and being revitalized. We need that optimism most specially after a disappointment, but the time one takes to get there varies.

Some people believe that happiness and sorrow don't deserve any more than 24 hours of glory. But it's a hard idea to practice. So we use some help to make through that period.

Step away from the things that are troubling you. A change of pace or a change of place, are the major helpers. Sooner you step out of the past, the sooner you step into the future. The faster you move, the smoother the ride.

Looking for people who understand us, we overlook the ones who do that best

We look for people who can understand us. We all do. You too must have wished for someone who could understand what you are going through. Or what really makes you happy. Or someone who knows exactly how you feel right now. Haven't you?
We often confuse companionship with love. And so we just keep looking for it in the ones we love. But every relationship has its own place. A friend is a friend. A lover is a lover. A mother is a mother. We need all of them. Even those relationships that have no name...but this post is not for them.

An elder sibling is a parent who is your own day and age. He/She understand what you need to know, What you want to know, And also, what you know and wouldn't admit. Somebody we love to miss for fighting with. Someone who always thinks we're in love with the wrong person. Somebody we like to tease, tickle and please. Someone who has seen you through the best and the worst and has been there, literally, by default.

I have some very fond memories of my brother as I'm sure many of you do (brothers or sisters). This post is dedicated to them. I miss my brother. And so I write this. Not because today is sibling day or something...

Some Great Advice

Friends are the people you can tell things you wouldn't usually admit even to family. Jokes you can't share with a brother or a sister or parents. And yeah, sometimes they provide with excellent advice.
Advice is itself such a funny thing. We always know what to do, but we want advice. We know whats right, but we ask for more advice. Mostly advice is only an instruction to do the right thing which we are trying to avoid doing. We need advice because someone else can give us the view of the larger picture we lose while considering the details. Some or the other times, we all need advice.
There are two great ideas some very nice people told me recently.

" When you dont think things are right. Quite the way you want them to me. Quite
the way you think they should be. Wait. If its a bad patch, don't make it worse
by going on about it. Pass the time. Time heals everything. Bad time passes.
Things change. Progress returns. In time." - Shreye Mehtani

And :

"Never spend more than 24 hours on any feeling. Neither achievement and glory nor sadness and misery." - Niraj Jain and also Paras Gudka

Its something we all think we know. Only, we forget. Exactly when we need to remember it.

Building momentum, then keeping it.

Everybody wants to do well in life. Many people work very hard. Some people dont realize how hard they are working. We start working. Then get into the mode. Keep working. Keep going. Then things seem settled. We begin to slow down. We start to take success for granted. At such a point, its easy to lose the momentum we built over the time, with so much pain. And so it gets easier to get run-down. So what do we do about it? To keep that precious momentum. To keep that fire alive. To keep fighting. To keep on going. Just how do we do it?
I'll tell you what, its difficult. No, its VERY difficult. To RE-build momentum. To get there where you've been before. Mostly it is because we move forward by nature. To be staying in another moment and going back and bringing something from it. The idea itself brings for us - future shock. Which is nothing but the inability to move with time. Forward or backward.
Happens. To everybody. Sooner or later. Some people find it very hard to deal with. To get back to what they've left behind. To repeat. To redo.
But we just have to do it. Like everybody else has to in that situation. Because there is really no other way out. Literally!

Untouched

Some times we surprise ourselves big time. Does happen you know. Generally if someone taunts you, you might take it up as a challenge and try to beat that. But sometimes you're more intelligent and you feel how funny it is that they wanted to taunt you. You say, "really? Thanks you cared so much!" Others' opinions or critique is just not worth the attention we sometimes end up paying to it. It might hurt. But if we are still focussed on what we want, we are pretty much unhurt. Or the thing might not be such a prestige issue to you in the first place. When we realize how unhurt we are by things that might have affected us, we realize our strength for standing up for ourselves. Thats a lovely feeling.

This particular quality is also described in the book called The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand, "It just hurts to a certain point. And then, there's no pain."

Painting by Deepa Goyal - "Nears but does not touch"

Release that stress...

Is stress all we have in our lives right now? Stress about work, love, children. Some people actually work better when they're stressed. But stressed only to a certain point. After which, stress overpowered efficiency and people begin to break.
But why are we so stressed? Is it really so bad? The worry. The restlessness.
Actually it isn't so bad. We're worried when we care. Just lets not let our desire to win take away the power to. Relax. Just remember:
When you have too many frogs to swallow, swallow the biggest one first.