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Some dreams haunt, some taunt, some smile and some simply surprise. We all have dreams: good and bad dreams, dreams we can't forget, dreams we can't ignore and also dreams we wish came true. There're different theories about dreams. Some say dreams are just our brains' wasted energy while we sleep. Some say they actually mean our state of mind, and represent our thoughts, dreams, desires and fears. But then what about those dreams about people we dont think about? Someone we didn't even know back in school? Or somebody we'd passed on our way to work? Or someone we saw somewhere we dont even remember. Happens, you know! But why? There's a book called The Interpretation Of Dreams by Sigmund Freud. Its one of those bestselling books most people can't read. It gave me nightmares since the day i started to read it. So I never got to the second page. Of course! So I'll just guess. Maybe seeing surprising faces in dreams signifies our desires to know these people, desires we might have felt at the time when i saw those faces... what do you think?
Some times we surprise ourselves big time. Does happen you know. Generally if someone taunts you, you might take it up as a challenge and try to beat that. But sometimes you're more intelligent and you feel how funny it is that they wanted to taunt you. You say, "really? Thanks you cared so much!" Others' opinions or critique is just not worth the attention we sometimes end up paying to it. It might hurt. But if we are still focussed on what we want, we are pretty much unhurt. Or the thing might not be such a prestige issue to you in the first place. When we realize how unhurt we are by things that might have affected us, we realize our strength for standing up for ourselves. Thats a lovely feeling. This particular quality is also described in the book called The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand, "It just hurts to a certain point. And then, there's no pain."
Painting by Deepa Goyal - "Nears but does not touch"
We tend to see the ones closer to us in a dimmer light than we see the ones that are not accessible to us. A husband may be more handsome and caring than an actor is projected on screen and yet women are attracted to that man. Because they dont have him.
Familiarity breeds contempt, while rarity wins admiration.
When we come to know someone very closely, we begin to know a lot of good things and a lot of bad things about them. Sometimes people have a rough time. In those times we see more of the flaws. But we shouldn't let these flaws get to us. This is still the same person. Just the times are a little tough. Happens to all of us. But many a times, we fall in the trap of contempt. We begin to look down upon people we used to like but are not in such an admirable shape at the moment. But people grow out of adversity. Sometimes people seem to be lost while they are just taking time to make a decision choosing the right path to take. Love is irrespective how bad times. Share bad times, help each other. Don't just let attraction decide. Accept change in others as you change too.
Just why do people become so crazy in the name of love that they dont mind being taken advantage of? Some people carry on relationships because of the money, or status, emotional dependence, or merely habbit. Habbit too. Really. Some people keep dragging a relationship because they dont know what they'll do without it. But is it really that way? Should it really be that way? Weigh your relationships on how it is contributing to your life. Make decisions, dont just cling. And don't drag. Be strong. Be complete - with and without. Have an independent identity.
Richard Branson said:
"When something stops being fun, its time to move on." Don't drag a relationship, please! Work at it. Make it work. Thats of course if you really can't let it go.
 Only the ones who love you will tell you what to do and what not to do and be irritated at your mistakes and hate you for making them. Others don't interfere, only because they don't care. Friends fight. Couples fight. Siblings fight. Only because they care enough to. That is real care. So when someone close to you is irritated, pay attention. If they're so worked up about it, they probably have a point. Same goes for you. If you're feeling so strongly about something in your loved ones' life, and you comment and they resist, don't just give up. Give space alright, but make your point. Thats what we're for.
Some people feel defeated. Sometimes everybody does. Some people take too much time to get over it. Some people never do. While some people get going quick. They move on. They take up the next challenge. We are always told to not to stay down after falling down, but how difficult is it to practice? If you're defeated and someone tells you go to hell, you probably do. But even to those, there are few who will take criticism seriously even under stress or sorrow. That is real strength. Sometimes everybody breaks. But listen. Listen when you can't think for youself. Listen, when you dont have enough to say.
 Young men who dont know who they're working for and who don't realize what they are doing are firing hundred of rounds of gunfire and killing hundreds of people. Really, who is responsible and who is to blame and even if we find someone to blame, what difference does that make? If there is just this much security and just so much insanity, then who would feel safe in such a country? Anybody working with you, or your friend could turn out to be a terrorist no matter if you've known them for months or years...and its all the same thing. These men were trained. These men were young. They took lives. They were lives. And for what?  While there are dead bodies lying around and people looking for some reassurance. If the government is just busy changing ministers and now there's going to be someone new to take the charge. The old one is irresponsible and the new one is not responsible. Then who is going to assure if we're really not going to be shot at again?
Here is a fantastic piece from The Sunday Times that i suggest you read:
A healthy give and take attitude is the basis for a steady relationship. It’s when you realise you are getting nothing in return that a partnership is in jeopardy. Every relationship charts out its own gives and takes. That’s what relationships are all about — from a tie as pure as a mother and child to one forged for business alone, give and take is an innate part of every relationship. You cannot hope to just keep taking and expect the tie to last. Even the most philanthropic amongst us wouldn’t want to spend a lifetime giving; at some point there is bound to be the concern, “What did I get out of this?” After all, even charity is doled out in the hope of raking in some returns for ourselves, be they material, physical or spiritual. Give and take isn’t necessarily a bad word. Nor is it limited to business deals. However it is certainly something that can either be elevated to a lofty status or be relegated to something demeaning and lowly, depending on people involved and intentions. Quite often we wonder what makes certain relationships tick. As an outsider you may not be able to fathom how two seemingly mismatched people are pulling along in a relationship, but rest assured, there is almost always a reason. There is equal compensation both ways. Sometimes a very strong person who has everything going for him may hook up with an ordinary partner and the world may keep wondering what he gets from her. Difficult to say, but rest assured there will always be some vulnerability in the strong person that is complemented through the partner’s personality. And, the other person accrues the obvious benefits. So the give and take works both ways. And till it keeps working, the balance keeps the relationship steady and going. It is when one partner starts feeling that he or she has nothing more to gain from the other that the relationship is in jeopardy. Once you start feeling that there are only debits in a partnership, instinctively you try and get out of the situation. It may all sound very greedy and selfcentred, but it isn’t really so. Because the give and take is not really a monetary transaction; more a compensation for what the other person needs or misses in his or her life — physical, spiritual or emotional, And yes, even if one person gives just materially, it could make for a workable relationship so long as there is mutual respect. A partner who draws spiritual solace from someone, may be giving material comforts in return. That’s fine, so long as both benefit and the relationship is symbiotic. The point is caring enough to give the other what he or she needs.Some people are very selfish and stingy when it comes to giving anything of themselves to a partner. In their shortsightedness, they attack the very foundation of a relationship. A relationship with such a person would be self-destructive. However, if not being a giver is a problem, being just a giver without ever taking anything from anyone also disturbs the balance of nature. A story in psychotherapist Brian Weiss’s book, Through Time into Healing, comes to mind. A daughter, distraught at her mother's being rendered totally inactive after a paralytic attack, questions God why he has struck helpless a woman who did nothing but give throughout her life. The answer she receives is that by giving her mother two years of dependence on the daughter, God has saved her a lifetime of begging and accepting in another birth. Because it is critical for the mother to understand it’s as important to receive as it is to give. “It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding; And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving And is there aught you would withhold? All you have shall someday be given … See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.” — Kahlil Gibran
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